Watcher's Journal
by Euley
Summary: Sequal to 17 Going on 30: Wesley is now writting in his journal about his adventures and how he goes and fixes all the mistakes he is suppose to make. Starting with Faith. That as well as win back Fred's love, learn how to dance, and oh yeh Angel's back.
1. Default Chapter

_July 2 1992_

Dear Journal,

I believe girls are the most complicated beings in this dimension and most likely many others (except possible the shrimp dimension. I don't know if female shrimp are all that complicated.) I mean one minute you love them, they love you, then the next minute you are destined to marry another girl you never like, and you can never be with the girl you love cause you are from two totally different worlds. Then even when you work in the same building you never see her because you have the crappy jobs, and have a big suspicion she memorized your schedule because she is avoiding you.

Raise your hand you wish you were 8 when girls were yucky and you though you'd never like them.

Thought so

Plus like being 18 isn't confusing enough. Try being 18 and having all your memories till you die. Then we'll talk about confusing.

Of course my life has never been clear, never. Isn't life supposed to become clearer once you get out of school? I honestly don't know. Well actually know that I think about it, there's a lot of thing I don't know. I mean ask me to translate Latin into German, or Ancient Japanese into a Chaos demon tongue and Yeh I'm your boy for it.

Yet ask me why the sky is blue (no seriously I don't know why the sky is blue) or why fathers can sometimes be your greatest enemy, or why I get all tongue tied around a girl when I in the future I am confident and I am not afraid of girls, I don't believe I can answer that. I mean, in the future I am not afraid of girls, they just fascinate me. Yet now in the past I am once more tongue tied, and I remember everything! I mean everything, as in Cordy, Virginia, that blond I slept with when I got really drunk, even...Lilah. So I really don't know that much at all.

Dam Girls

So I Wesley James Wyndam Pryce am I complete failure of a man. A failure as a watcher? Not yet, a man? Defiantly.

Oliver Pure my roommate, and best friend since first year says I need to loosen up. I mean of course I have defiantly since I have gotten back my memory, I mean I no longer where tweed and suits. Yet there was only one being I am totally comfortable, and can be myself with.

Winifred Amanda Burkle. I don't know why, and for some odd reason I can't explain it. I think (this is a theory of course) it's because she isn't just a lover of mine. She wasn't just a girlfriend. Fred for the longest time was my best friend. And I think that just makes me comfortable with her. Yet ever since February 15, my life hasn't been comfortable at all. It's been confusing, scary, world changing and dizzy.

Dam Girls

I being a watcher, of course have many other theories. One involving us being soul mates, and another with her being possible identical hand twin in another life. (Long story). Yet Oliver Pure my best friend, whom is a watcher of course though not the smartest, says that I really need to get over her.

He doesn't know everything. He just knows there was this girl I was crazy about and had written to everyday for the past year and we had broken up after Valentines, because of Ashley, the girl I am dethroned to.

Fred tells me when girls break up with guys they eat chocolate, watch chick-flicks and hang out with their girlfriends. I wish boys had it that easy. No we go out and get drunk as hell and wake-up the next morning with the most mind-blowing headache ever known. (I forget in this body I can't hold my liquor) Then the next day we stay in and watch those detective shows with old guys in it all day. Then the third day we're supposedly good enough to move on with life while it takes girls weeks to move on. I don't understand why people are so stereotypical that men have hearts of stone when really we don't. Or well it least I don't. But then again I'm 18, gawky, clumsy, and unsure of myself. It least when I am not around Fred.

It's been 7 months and all I can still think about is she.

Dam Girls

I work as an intern though for the council in there small office in down town London. We're actually a lot like AI. We help the helpless or what ever that logo was. I never quite got it, that was usually Cordelia's job. We handle the small stuff while the council handles the apocalypses, the slayers and ECT. Usually I go in, go to my boss, get a book, go to the basement of the offices, go through a small portal, end up in the Councils HQ library (most extensive library in the world) and translate the book. I don't mind really, it's easy. I also have a job as a tutor to bring in some money. I tutor these two kids, Ethan whom is 13, and Isabel whom is 9. Spoiled brats if you ask me yet then again no one ever does.

Oly, (Oliver Pure, I call him Oly) says I should get out more. If only he knew. Most nights after work I go to "The Cart" which is this old abandon subway station under big Ben. I go they're to be myself, and research why the bloody hell I am here in the past and not in heaven or where ever I was suppose to be. I meet Spike there every Friday. As much as I hate to say it. I missed Spike, damm it, I said it. He's pure honesty, and always saying what he is thinking oddly reminds me of Cordelia. Though he is incredibly annoying he is like the little brother I never had. Well, technically since he is older then me-never mind I am blabbering again. You will find I do that quite often in my journal entries, I think it's from hanging out with Fred to long.

I would give Spike notes, and he would give them to Fred. Then Fred would write notes and give them to Spike and he would give them to me. I once tried writing stuff on my notes to Fred like. Under a complete translation of 2 verses in an ancient Chinese Scroll I wrote "How Are You?" she never wrote back, in fact when I got the scroll back, she had erased it.

Dam Girls

I don't believe I should write any more entries this length. Maybe I should actually write what I did the day and not go on and on and on about how completely and utterly life sucks.

Dam Girls

* * *

Authors Note: Sorry it took me so long to finally get this up. I hope you guys like this one as much as the last one.


	2. Damm Whiskey

July 4, 1992  
Dear Journal,  
Dear god I have the worst headache known to man. I drank A LOT last night. Whiskey in fact. Some stuff, Spike got me drunk last night. I came to the cart; he said I looked gloom, which I did because I saw Fred today for the first time in a while. He offered my some whiskey and I took it.

"Why is it that when you are deeply in love with someone, most of the time they don't love you back?" I asked him. His eyes sort of softened I guess remembering Buffy.  
"I don't know mate, but the thing is Wes. If it's Fred we're talking about. Well she still loves you."  
"Do she really?" I asked him.  
"Of course she does! She is always asking how you are and crap. Ya should really make a move."  
"A move?" I asked.  
"Yeah know, go on, and see her, what ever."  
"I-I can't. Not after."  
"Look here Percy, ya don't go see her know, and you won't go see her ever. Then you'll regret it for the rest of your life." Spike actually made sense. So I listened to Spike.  
Damm Whiskey.

How the hell did I know where Fred lived? Well there's sort of a girl semi apartment for girls, and one for the guys. Luckily Fred was outside with some friends of hers. I didn't recognize them so I was safe. I looked at her and nearly fainted. Dear god she is gorgeous. She must of just came back clubbing or something. A black dress that fit her very well, with a slit up one leg.   
"Ohm Fred?" I mumbled. All of the girls looked at me and started giggling.  
"Wes what are you-"  
"can I talk to you?" I mumbled.  
"Yeah sure." and we walked to this alley beside the apartment building.

"Fred-"  
"Wesley what are you-"  
"I can't do this anymore." I replied looking at her in the eye. Her back was up against the wall, looking at me with those big round brown eyes.  
"Do what?" she whispered.  
"Not be with you." I muttered to her in reply, she looked up at me all shocked. "I miss you Fred...I miss your laugh, your smile, our talks, our walks,"  
"Wesley-"  
"I miss your eyes." I replied gently with the back of my hand I caressed the side of her face. "Your skin." I whispered as I continued to caress her cheek. "Your lips." I whispered with some slight intensity, yet she just looked up at me.  
"Wesley." she whispered...yet she whispered it...needing. She wanted this...no she needed this I guess.  
Yet I being still semi, slightly, 1 sober (not really) didn't dive in. Just looked at her right in the eye, and there was a glint, and I took that as a yes and dove in for a kiss. you can never describe a kiss with Winifred Burkle. I being totally drunk and very...ungentle men like I guess one could say went in for it all the way. Dove my tongue in there like I was bloody Frenchmen.  
She kissed back, and for about 5 seconds on I was on cloud nine.  
Then she pushed me away Damm Whiskey  
"Wesley!" she cried whipping her lips. "You're drunk as hell! That's whiskey!"  
She knows the difference between Whiskey, and Beer, oh crap.  
"Do you realize that you are going to marry my best friend? Do you realize your cheating on your fiancé? Are you the kind of person who would do that? How can I be with you, when you go on and cheat on her! With me! Her Best friend! No, Wesley no. Matter of fact, how DARE you! I mean you really have become with cheating, low, self-centre asshole!" and with that she turned and left. Damm Whiskey. I knew Fred...the last part she didn't mean...I think. She like me says things like that in a time of real pain. Just to make herself feel better for turning her back on me. I did it to Lilah all the time...even though I always turned back.

I left the alley once I heard her apartment door slam. Yet then I saw something in the corner of my eye. Someone was standing down the misty street. Wearing all black, dark hair, and dark eyes.  
"Angel?" I muttered. Yet I blinked and he was gone. Damm it, I am having illusions now.

Damm Whiskey.

I came home to my apartment, yet when I did I saw Oliver on our couch. Yet a tiny being was wrapped up in his big muscular arms. She was a girl, 16, or 17 of age. Dark hair, dark eyes, olive skin. She wasn't a lover, no I knew this girl. This was his sister...Maria. I soon found out there parents where killed in a driving accident. They where hit by a drunk driver. And now Maria had to live with Oliver and me. And now, the only two people in my life who were actually almost real parents are dead.

Damm Whiskey

Just copy, save, edit, and email it to me as an attachment. Can't get on Yahoo instant messenger today, but I will be emailing and crud.


	3. Life Sucks

July 10, 1992

Dear Journal,

Maria Pure is a wonderful girl, I will not deny it. She is. Pretty, young,

Wild, carefree, happy, big heart. Yet ever since her parents died... she has

Been slightly cold, a loner...Oliver has been going to work, he has a steady job

With the council. His father (unlike mine) made some connections before his death to get him in there early. He asked me to stay home with her to take care of her. It's been raining lately to.

Life Sucks

She was standing by the heater of the apartment, an afghan draped around her shoulders, staring out into the rain.

"Maria?" I whispered to her coming up behind her.

"It hurts to much." she whispered, her accent very thick.

"I know, I am hurting to."

"Have you ever lost someone so important to you...that...once they were gone... you didn't see the point in living?"

Fred...she was all I could think of at that point.

"Yes, I have...but the saying Time heals all wounds. It isn't a lie."

"But I don't want to." she replied turning to me, revealing all the tears." I don't want to get better because that means I had forgotten them...I shouldn't be able to get over my parents death." she mumbled shaking her head. I wrapped my arms around her waist and put my chin on top of her head.

"It's going to be ok I promise."

The Pure's are a part of my family. They practically raised me. On Christmas I would go down to Italy with Oliver, telling my parents I am staying for the holidays to study at the academy. I would spend parts of my holidays (Summer as the Americans call it) there to. And since Maria is a Pure. She is part of my family as well.

"Wesley?" she muttered. Then she did the most unexpected thing I have ever though physically possible.

Maria Pure kissed me.

No lie! I mean I knew she had a crush on me, but still. Yet I understood why.

She wanted to feel... same reason I slept with Lilah all those months. Just not to the extreme. Not saying I didn't like it. I mean, she was quite umm...well... how do I say this...talented? Experienced? Really knew how to kiss? Yet never dare I kiss back, as much as I dear god wanted to. I didn't push her away, just sort of let her kiss me for a minute then let her pull away once she realized I wasn't going to kiss her back.

"I-I'm so sorry." she mumbled.

"Maria, it's ok I-" yet she locked herself in her room and I heard crying. Dear god, I should have just kissed her, but no. I wasn't going to give her the easy way out. She had to learn to be strong.

I entered Ashley's giant mansion with uneasiness; this girl was the girl my father wanted me to marry. It was a GIANT end of the year kind of party. Yet as I came in I stopped dead in my tracks.

Henry is a bastard. A bully picked on me since my first year. I have the scars to prove it. Had gotten me in a lot of trouble, for his father is the sort of vice-principal one could say. He was the reason I was locked under the stairs that entire holiday after my first year. He was the reason my academy years where so horrible.

He was making out with Fred.

On a couch

At my Fiancé's party

Life Sucks

I came to the centre of the party where the men of her life surrounded Ashley. Her father, her uncles, my father, my grandfather, her grandfather. We were supposed to get together and talk about the wedding. Yet to make stories short I got into a fight with my father. Yet it was when I yelled "HELL NO" people started gathering around us.

"Wesley! Don't you dare take that tone of voice with me boy!" Yet I started laughing, maybe I was crazy.

"News flash dad, I'm not a boy."

"You call this attitude have being a man?"

"No, I calling it the truth!" I yelled at him.

"Wesley! This is your destiny, your calling! You must continue the family lin-"

"And I might, in my own time, in my own way. Do you know this is against the law you bloody nit-wit!"

"The watchers council is aloud to bend those laws, Wesley this is your destiny." Then I saw behind him Fred. She was standing there, looking straight at me.

"Someone once told me... Screw Destiny." I said breathlessly. Then as if awakening from my trance looked back down at him my eyes must of been on fire because I saw a brief flash of fear. Then I turned my heels and walked out on my father, all the people I had grown up with, and my security.

Life Sucks!

I quickly packed my bags, and before I left I changed into slightly baggy

kackees cargo sort of pants, and a button down oxford, sleeves rolled up, top few buttons undone. My backpack on one of my shoulders. Yet while I was packing

I heard a voice.

"Why are you doing this?" It was Oliver's

"I can't do this anymore. I am not going to be what my fathers wants me to be."

"So what, 8 years of friendship means nothing to you?" he asked obviously hurt.

"No" I replied quickly turning around. "Oliver you're my best friend and you always will be...but ...there's something I have to do first." I placed my hand on his shoulder. "Take care ok?" he merely nodded and doing his Italian thing gave me a hug. They were all very touchy, feely in Italy. Yet I didn't mind. It was the truth Oliver had gotten me through a lot of tough times. I feel awful for not staying and helping him get through his own tough time...but there was some work to be done.

"Are you leaving because of me?" asked Maria standing at the doorway, her hair all in her face. I just sighed and placed her hair behind her ear. Yet her head remained down. I placed my hand under her chin to force her to look up at me with her hazels eyes.

"No, I have some problems and mistakes I have to solve. If I don't things are going to get dangerous."

"Wesley, please don't leave...I need you." she whispered.

"Maria, you don't." I told her back. "You are one of the strongest people I know. Take care." and with that I kissed her on the cheek, opened my apartment door and left my best friend when he needed me the most.

Life Sucks!

The last thing I ever heard in England was "Flight 206 is now boarding. Please board, Flight 206 to Boston is now boarding." I think when I was yelling at my father that in the future I will make so many mistakes. And now that I am in the past I can fix them. Starting with the first real one I ever made.

Faith


	4. Boston

Authors Note: Thanks again Rach for all your help! Thanks for all the reveiws, sorry this took so long.

* * *

July 12, 1992 

Dear Journal,

Yesterday something odd happened to me. I was in 7-11 (Dear god I miss there slurpies, even though technically I have never had one) when I heard some beeper thing go off. I turned to look at the door, and saw that a very new looking alarm was set up at the door, a girl was standing there, a very fat and old man holding her roughly.

"I caught ya! Little thief! Your the one who has been stealing from me this

entire month! But I finally gotcha!" he said triumphantly.

"Let go of me, I am not a thief.. I .. I was..!" she cried.

"Not a chance kid."

"Hey, look boss just let me go.I no was stealiong I promise!" she yelled pleadingly. My ears perked up at the voice.

"There you are! I was looking for you" I said suddenly running over. The man looked up at me confused.

"Who the hell are you?"

"Brandon, her brother, I'm sorry sir but she is right, probably she was just looking out for me, true?." I said pulling off my, more american accent. There was some british in there yet I was able to hide most of it.

"Well this brat has been stealing from me for a month."

"A month? Can't be true sir, we moved here last week. And if you let she explain, she was just looking where I was, and probably step in to the alarm Don't worry, this won't happen again, I promise." the man glared at Faith and then me.

"Ok, but I better not see her here anytime soon!" he yelled and with that he grabbed the hotdog and pushed her and me out of the shop.

"uuh thanks." she merely said to me as we were pushed out of the 7-11.

"Yeh, no promblem. Are you ok?" I replied letting my natrual accent come back.

"yeh, five by five; Your british." she said stating not asking.

"Yes" I stated simply. She looked at me up and down. I had to confess she looked nothing like I thought she would. Faith...wasn't the little sexy girl I knew. She was actually quite holesome. The soon to be slayer wore a sweatshirt twice her size along with sweatpants just as big, held up by a belt.

"You have you been stealing from him for the last month?"

"No..." she mumbled. "I was just hungry...i-I've never stole before." she mumbled. I found this whole situation totally and absolutely ubeliavable.

"Never? Are you parents around?" I asked her. She shook her head no. How could this be? Faith?

"Whats your name?" asked Faith curiously.

"Wesley, and yours?"

"Faith, Faith Davies." she said smiling slightly. I still couldn't wrap my head around that this 14 year old girl would be the killer and a rogue slayer.

"Well, umm...you should be careful..." I replied not sure what to say.

"Yeh, well umm...I better get home."

"wait.. you say you were hungry?"

"starving, really"

"you want an hamburger?"

"Sure!"

half hour later we was eating in the closer mcdonald and talking about silly things movies and music

"is late, maybe your parents are worried.."

"like if they care about me…"

then something come back to my mind, Faith told lot of times, she had a very unhappy childhood..

"so your parents..

" see I gotta go, you are right, they will be worried, see you.."

and with that she ran off the restaurant down an alley and was gone.

* * *

July 14, 1992 

Dear Journal,

New job sucks

A dogwalker! It was the first thing I saw in the classifieds, and the one with the least experince. The watchers acadamy doesn't exactly give you a highschool diploma. Yet luckily I ran into Faith today. And when I say ran into, I mean literally. I was in the park, and well I know I was suppose to be walking the dogs. Truth was they were walking me. Damm dogs where pulling me all around thepark, and don't even get me started when we saw that squirell… o a Dove.. o a cat…! Well we were going up a hill and BANG I ran into her. I fell flat upon my arse.

"Hey watch where yo-Wesley?" she asked.

"Oh Faith, hey, sorry, I uuhh-" when I finally meet her all the speeches and questions I had for her were gone.

"Yeh no prob, just be careful...uuh see you around."

"faith, wait, can we meet later?" And with that she got up and left me. Damm it! I messed up again.

* * *

July 16, 1992 

Dear Journal,

I realized I need something so I can be close to Faith, watch out for her, make sure she doesn't change into that dark slayer. So that means I must use all my humility to do the once thing I can do to be close to her. Journal...I am going to do the one thing I promised myself I would never do. Modern Dance

Kill me now.


End file.
